Relationships?

Relationships are a funny thing here in Ghana. For instance, one time I was walking and got approached by a man carrying a bundle of 5 cutlasses telling me that he wants to love me. It also seemed like he had been drinking a bit, mind you this was at 7 in the morning. Naturally he was a complete stranger I had never seen before. Love you? I don’t even know your name, add to that, you don’t know mine! What do you do? Yes, I fake being married but that hardly works to deter men. It’s almost as if you have to have your husband in tow for them to believe the lie. This was easier for me when my fake husband was in the country and I often did my travels with him. Obviously I couldn’t get away with this lie in my village, where I am still being pursued.

Take my husband for instance. Yes, I call him that because every time he sees me I hear ,”My wife!”. Never mind the fact that for weeks he didn’t even know my local name, and the fact that we are still having the conversation of ,”When you go to your hometown of South Africa you will bring me” and the fact that the next time he will yet again forget that I am not from South Africa.

I often hear from him, “Tonight I will come to your place” and my response is always, “No, that will not be nice”, “Why?”, “Because it’s not nice”. Or another common one is, “Go to my house. The food is there. The fish is there (Note: Most people know that I am not eating fish in Ghana. I can’t get over the head still being attached and the bone structure in place. I don’t like eating something when it looks the same as it did when it was alive. It creeps me out)” In my small village I still don’t know where he lives, and I had to be told by my friend that he’s a fisherman. His name? I often forget that as well. I always have to remember that it is similar to my friend Abdullah, ah yes, Abdulli.

Our interactions are generally brief, leaving me feeling exposed (The conversations generally gather a crowd) but feeling light, because it’s just hilarious. There’s not much more to it than that. Sometimes the comic relief comes at the perfect time when there’s a bit of tension in the air. Sometimes it makes a light day just a bit lighter. Either way.

He is not the only person in my community who calls me their wife. At this point I’m not sure how many husbands I have, nor do I know how many times I have been proposed to. It’s funny to think of the proposals, oftentimes they happen before your name is asked. Obviously the love is so genuine!

These things don’t happen in America. Quite frankly, it would be seen as creepy but here it’s laughable and at the same time old. You know it can’t possibly be genuine, as it is often meant as a joke. That is the culture. It’s just interesting to experience something that feels so strange, so different than what you’re used to.