A year in

A year in Ghana with lots of interesting interactions. I have had people ask me how lesbianism works. They are confused, because as they put it, “There’s nothing to go in.” I have had people offer me the opportunity to be their husband’s third wife, “The first wife, she cooks. I do the wash. And you, you could sit there and eat and be happy.” I have had to explain countless times how I could possibly be 24 years old and childless. To Ghanaians, this is baffling. More so, husbandless? How? But I must marry soon, as I am getting old and my eggs must certainly be drying up. Plus, don’t I want a child now so they can take care of me when they’re grown?

One of the most interesting interactions I have come in way of marriage proposals. Hardly a day goes by where I’m without at least one. There are several men in my village who propose when they see me. Or men who I meet while hitchhiking to market or town. And of course there are those men in town as well. There are too many stories to tell, but here are some of my favorites.

·                                      A man got down on one knee in the streets of Tamale as I was walking by while on the phone with my boyfriend. The Ghanaian on his knee just said he wanted to love me.

·                                      A man whose mother lives in my village came and gave me a ‘present’ in the form of 3 pictures of himself as well as a love letter for me. He continues to come to the village every few weeks, to greet me and try to convince my friends they should give him my number. When he is around, I hide in my house.

·                                   A man with a bundle of machetes walks up to me, blocking my path, and claims that “I want to love.”

·         

A                A man in my village declaring me his wife and telling me, “I will go to market and buy you dis ting, dis ting, ahh yes, a ring. I will buy you a ring and we will do wedding. You will go to my house, it is all there. The food is there, the fish is there. You want to marry me, no problem, I will marry you. You don’t want to marry me, no problem, I will marry you.”

There are many stories like these. Many men who claim they love me. Most I never see again, then some who come by my village to greet me again.

Relationships are a topic many seem to enjoy bringing up with me. People are curious how relationships work in America, if they can be in a relationship with me, what is allowed in America- multiple wives, girlfriends when married, etc. There are many things that have made my first year in Ghana interesting, and these conversations are among them.